A cape does not a hero make.

“True heroism is remarkably sober, very undramatic. It is not the urge to surpass all others at whatever cost, but the urge to serve others at whatever cost.” – Arthur Ashe

I spend a lot of time inside my head.

I always have. I guess that stems from a childhood lived in a playmate-less neighborhood.

But there were comic books to read and 4 color worlds to get lost in. Filled with heroic deeds and villainy most evil, these stories spirited my mind away for hours at a time. I never realized why I truly enjoyed those stories (still do) until this evening as I made my way home from the gym.

It isn’t the dynamic nature of a Man of Steel, or one that can stick to walls and spin a spider web. It’s the idea of the grand crusade, a fight against a seemingly insurmountable challenge with overwhelmingly poor odds. To fight this fight, not only for yourself, but for others… Maybe it’s just for yourself, someone close to you or a complete stranger(s). The funny thing is, I don’t think it matters.

That is why in the age of wonders we live in… the age of ease… the age of now… so many struggle.

Why is it that so many complain or feel lost when there is so much… a time of plenty?

They lack their own crusade.

Life progresses forward while many feel like they are standing in place. Captive to modern wonders and technology which has robbed them of the fight they subconsciously seek.

I’m starting to ramble… time to heed this urge and be my hero… to find my fight.

An explanation of sorts…

“Walk with me, hand in hand through the neon and styrofoam. Walk the razor blades and the broken hearts. Walk the fortune and the fortune hunted. Walk the chop suey bars and the tract of stars. I know I am a fool, hoping dirt and glory are both a kind of luminous paint; the humiliations and exaltations that light us up. I see like a bug, everything too large, the pressure of infinity hammering at my head. But how else to live, vertical that I am, pressed down and pressing up simultaneously? I cannot assume you will understand me. It is just as likely that as I invent what I want to say, you will invent what you want to hear. Some story we must have. Stray words on crumpled paper. A weak signal into the outer space of each other. The probability of separate worlds meeting is very small. The lure of it is immense. We send star-ships. We fall in love.” — Jeanette Winterson

Where I will be… when I don’t return

I sat in the gym this afternoon on a shoulder press machine and looked up at the flat screen TV hanging from the ceiling.

‘It’s a Wonderful Life” was on.

I got irritated.

Irritated by the character George Bailey. But why, in that moment, did I feel that way? Over a fictitious character from a movie over 60 years old.

I guess it stems from the fact that… here, fictitious character or not, was a man living in a world most will never experience.

A simple, beautiful world…
Where he is loved.
Where he has friends who care for him.
Where people count on him for his abilities… his counsel.
Where he is a father.

All of these things the backdrop of a heaven on earth.

But yet… after facing adversity, he is ready to throw it all away. He needs a ‘heavenly’ intervention to save him from himself and open his eyes to the amazing life he has lived. To be living such a gift… and not see it, until it is almost too late? Part of me wishes George had jumped.

He didn’t deserve what he had.

He was in the moment, overwhelmed by a problem perceived as insurmountable. Not realizing that the problem in and of itself was the greatest gift he had been given. A gift to grow in strength and wisdom and take stock of what was right in his life.

Ignoring the gifts most will never experience, he chose the selfish route… foolishly thinking that taking away everything he was would make those around him better off. Running away and leaving those behind to face what he could not… George Bailey was a coward.

I am happy for the adversities I have faced… the failures, the disappointments and heart-breaks. Without them I couldn’t see all I have and all that I have become. So as 2011 starts, I hope it brings more of what life has to offer… All of it.

The joy and sadness.
Love and heart-break.
Success and failure.

‘Heavenly’ interventions for a life well lived.